…My Life
So on January 1, I met this guy. Tall, dark, and handsome according to Dana, because I can only remember the tall and dark part. He asked for my number and I obliged. We have been talking on the phone for a while. I haven’t been home since Jan 3, so I have not seen him since we first met.
He’s a nice guy. Much older than me, 27 to be exact. He has a job. College graduate. His own apartment, so he says. And two kids. Yup, two. Plus two baby mothers. Nonetheless, the optimist inside of me was willing to take the many risks already apparent.
Just recently, I have become so overwhelmed with life. Student teaching, SGRHO, Head Resident stuff, job application process, death in my family, and keeping my eyes on graduation has all pulled me in so many directions that I have little time for the free spirited things that my new love interest is interested in persuing. I like him; I just don’t have time for him.
Sometimes I feel like I may be alone forever because I get so worked up and intensely involved in everything I do, the people closest to me suffer. I haven’t called my fav grandmother in a month, and I often have to pencil my mother in. Its not like I come home, eat dinner, watch TV, and chill after school.
After student teaching, I go directly into another realm of responsibilities I have on my campus, and by midnight, I am drained and don’t want to talk with anyone but my pillow and God.
I just hope that this guy and any other man that I get involved with can understand where my priorities are right now at 21. I have so many dreams and places I want to be in another 10 years. I have little time for any tomfoolery that will deter me from my dreams.
So, in essence, I really do want form a meaningful intimate relationship with someone, someday. Now, today, but it is doesn’t seem feasible unless the love interest is willing to sacrifice ALOT. I’m not sure that I would want to request this of someone because it is selfish.
So anyway, I haven’t spoken to my unofficial beau for three days.
So, in reply to what you have written Ms.Swinton, you know I fell into a very serious relationship myself, Might i add has been a rollercoaster ride in itself. Due to the fact that i have focused so much time and effort into make this very special girl the blood that keeps my heart pumping. I have drifted away from doing a great deal of things that will put me in the position to obtain the greatest success. I can’t blame her because my love her is something, I haven’t ever experienced before not even with the mother of my child.
Just yesterday she and I got into a slight confrontation because I told her that I was thinking about staying on campus for the summer to work, in order to save up as much money as I can in order to purchase a vehicle SOON. So my significant other catches the biggest attitude, because what I contemplated doing would have left her in a position to become more so “INDEPENDENT” we all knows what this means. Yes, I bent over backwards to make sure she had everything she asked for along with doing anything I could to make her happy. It’s just that her reaction made me feel some type of way because I didn’t feel the love and support that she has given in so many ways before in the past. I was completely baffle, but then I thought I need to do what I need to do for self and whoever doesn’t agree with it “either got to get wit it, or get lost”
What comes from all this being said, I was moved by your blog. The fact that you can put on hold a life of love and happiness in order to achieve the amount of success you desire, has opened my eyes and made me realize that if my goals and aspirations aren’t my number one focus in life outside of my Little bundle of joy, then there is no point of doing anything if isn’t in the direction of putting a smile on my face.
Keep it coming Tai. Love you boo.